Give Me a Funny New Joke to Tell
We have collected hilarious funny jokes for all ages, easy to share.
Everybody loves good and funny jokes, right? There is a high chance you are looking for extremely fun jokes to share with your friends and family. You have come to the perfect place.
And not just that. We have collected the best funny puns along with jokes – all type of jokes! One liners, 2 lines, adult jokes, puns for teenagers… and much more. We organized the jokes by type and age.
Also read my summary of the best funny travel jokes and puns. And talking about puns, if that is your thing, you HAVE to read these hilarious dad jokes.
Laugh more: Funny Jokes for Kids that will bring so much laughter.
I also summed up:
- 30 best dad jokes of all time
- seriously dirty jokes for adults…no children allowed!
- offensive and inappropriate jokes
- kids-friendly jokes for families
- funny riddles and quiz for kids
- Funny Brunette Jokes
Funny Puns
Let's start with some funny puns so you can impress your friends or make new ones.
Do you know what is a pun? A pun is a joke that exploits the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings.
I am sure you used puns even without realizing that it is a pun. Like these punchs, I mean, puns:
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me .
What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus .
Secretary: "Doctor, the invisible man has come. He says he has an appointment."
Doctor: "Tell him I can't see him ."
To the guy who stole my antidepressants: I hope you're happy now .
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Hawaii.
Hawaii who?
I'm fine, Hawaii you?
Laugh more: hilarious knock-knock jokes
Exaggerations have become an epidemic. They went up by a million percent last year .
What is best Beatles song? Latte Be
Laugh more: best coffee jokes and puns
I'm not a big fan of stairs. They are always up to something
Why aren't Koalas actual bears?
They don't meet the KOALifications .
Why are green beans the most Zen of all vegetables?
Because they've found their inner peas .
Drinking too much espresso can cause a latte problems .
Short funny jokes
Nowadays, we receive tons of information… Retaining this information is not easy, I know, that is why I use short jokes to impress people. The short jokes are always easier to remember!
What do you call bears with no ears?
B–
What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt !
I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today.
That's 7 years in a row now.
What do you call sad coffee?
Despresso .
What do you give to a sick lemon?
Lemon aid !
Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they arrgh!
What don't ants get sick? They have anty-bodies .
Ever tried to eat a clock? It's time-consuming .
What type of candy is always late? A choco late .
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Ca-shew !
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands .
What's a frog's favorite soda? Croak-a-Cola!
Funny Jokes for Children and Family
In my family, we have a joke contest for Christmas. We started some years ago and that is why I started collecting jokes… Now I am sharing them here.
Wanna REALLY funny jokes to tell your family (children included) that they will love? Well, here are the ones my family laughed most at.
What is fast, loud and crunchy? A rocket chip !
What is a witch's favorite subject in school? Spelling !
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing .
What kind of water cannot freeze? Hot water .
What do you call a cold dog?
A Chilli Dog .
What did one hat say to the other?
You wait here. I'll go on a head .
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car .
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Funny Jokes for Teens
When you have some teenagers at home, you have to pay attention of what kind of jokes you tell. I do remember being a child and not understanding my grandma's jokes. Then, as a teenager, I always got embarrassed hearing them telling them (and pretending I did not understood them). Even though I admit, then I could explain them to my school mates and I was the queen! At some point, you start also laughing with the adults in the room.
Nevertheless, if you do not want an awkward moment for your children making them pretending that they do understood the joke – or you do not want them to use them, here I collected some clean jokes here that you can share with your teens at home (or wherever you want).
You can find more teenager jokes here.
Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother? My name is Paul .
I used to be addicted to soap. But I'm clean now .
Teacher: Why is your paper in blank?
Student: Sometimes Silence is the best answer .
What's orange and sounds like a carrot?
A parrot.
Need a friend? Call me.
A laugh? Call me
Need money? This number is no longer available.
Read more: Funny BEST Friend Jokes That Will Knock Them Over!
A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I'm addicted to Instagram"
The doctor replies, " Sorry, I don't follow you … "
I am a simple person, I see my parents angry, I hide my phone .
Where do you find reindeer?
It depends on where you leave them !
Fact: 99% of TikTok users do not know their password.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope .
The past, present and future walked into a bar.
It was tense .
Why does it suck to be a penguin? Because even when you get angry, you still look cute .
Knock knock. Who's there?
Mikey! What, Mikey who?
Mikey doesn't fit in the keyhole!
Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?
Yes, it is February 14th .
What do you call someone who can't stick with a diet?
A desser ter
Which table fits in the fridge? Vege TABLE .
Teacher: Which is the best month for studies?
Student: Octembruary…
Teacher: There is no such month…
Student: Exactly .
Funny Jokes for Adults
Looking for Seriously funny jokes? Let's send the children to play so the real fun can start. These might be dirty funny jokes that you can only share with other adults, but they will laugh so hard that they will cry.
I included also some clean jokes that you can start telling when the children come back asking for your attention or when they just wanna sit around and listen to the jokes you have to tell.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There's no menu: You get what you deserve.
Is Google male or female?
Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion
What do you call it when you walk into a cafe you're sure you've been to before?
Déjà brew
Have you got anything to drink?
Water
I was thinking about something harder…
I have ice .
Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.
I lost some weight last month.
But now it found me again .
I only accept apologies in cash . Okay?
"Waiter, the steak is smelling very strongly of liquor!"
The waiter backs up 3 steps and asks, " How's that now? "
Condoms are made : By humans, for humans, on humans, in humans – against more humans.
To all those people who don't know what real panic is:
"Try blocking the toilet in your future parents-in-law's home."
I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of the vodka bottle .
Laugh more: Funny Vodka Jokes
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it .
"Siri, why am I still single?!"
Siri activates front camera.
Laugh more: Funny questions to ask Siri
2 Line Jokes
We all know, some jokes just tell the truth in a funny way. Others just use puns so we can laugh about things.
Complicated and long jokes can be a pain to remember, that is why I do prefer short jokes or even 2 line jokes like the following ones.
Never laugh at your girlfriend's choices.
You're one of them .
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells .
Are you a cheetah ?
No, you lion!
I got fired form my calendar factory job.
It was because I took a day off .
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta .
Laugh more: Funny Pasta Jokes
I took a urine test at the hospital yesterday.
Man, my kleptomania is out of control.
A skeleton walks into a bar.
He orders a beer and a mop .
Apparently , someone in Boston gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Poor bastard .
I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I am OK .
Very very funny jokes
Not every time you tell a joke people will laugh immediately. That is not your fault! Sometimes, people do not understand the joke or pun, other times, those jokes are so specific that they are really out of their usual world.
But there are some jokes that you do not have to be a professional to understand, like this very funny jokes. Every time I told them people laugh, no matter age or condition.
Dentist: "You need a crown."
Patient: "Finally someone who understands me "
I have a very secure job.
There's nobody else who would want it .
Which bus never drove on any street?
The globus .
A pizza is basically a real-time pie chart of how much pizzas is left.
You don't have to marry for money; hang around the rich and marry for love .
What do people like to wear in England?
Tea-shirts .
My wife keeps telling me that I'm the cheapest person she has ever met in her life.
I'm not buying it !
"I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it."
What is an Ironing board?
A surf board which gave up on its dreams and went to work.
Boy: What's your age?
Girl: Girls don't reveal our age to boys.
Boy: What is your email address?
Girl: pari.2001@gmail.com
Summary: Had a good laugh?
We sincerely hope you had a good laugh and found a fun joke to share with your friends and family. If not, well, then we have even more for you.
Before you head out to tell the worlds your new puns, collect even more funny jokes for families with children – clean ones! I also created this article with the best tricky riddles with answers for children.
And for every pun-lover, hilarious mom jokes are must-read.
We have even more puns for you:
- 30 best dad jokes of all time
- hilariously silly star wars jokes to get eye-roles
- seriously dirty jokes for adults…no children allowed!
- Funny Dinosaur Jokes
- Clean Jokes That Are Actually Funny
And now, have a carrot!
Jimmy
Submit your Own Joke
A list of jokes is never really complete. We are keeping this list up to date and add new, fresh jokes to it. Do you want to add your own joke? Then send it here and we well add it.
Want to have more fun? 🤣
Source: https://jokesquotesfactory.com/best-funny-jokes/
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